It’s like I couldn’t catch my breath and I was sitting down. I was out of breath and had only walked from my car door to my front door. It was if someone had their foot on my chest and was putting their weight on it. I wanted to cry but did not know why. For the better part of my Monday I was in this vicious rotating door of having no control and not being able to get a grip. My anxiety (something I have typically) was at an all-time high like never before. But what was really messing with me is that nothing had changed as far as my day to day. So what was the source? Where did all this come from? My breathing exercises that normally help weren’t cutting it. Listening to my Tibetan singing bowls (don’t knock it till you try it) helped only mildly. And then I had a couple of “AHA” moments….one being my workplace environment. My office was a total *^%$@ mess and physical disorder and clutter messes with my mental. But that’s just location. It had to be deeper than that. I recently returned from one of the most relaxing peaceful vacations I had ever experienced. I reached a state of peace and tranquility I had never known and I wanted to keep that state of mind forever. Returning to my regularly scheduled program made me realize just how my typical routine of organized chaos, perpetual running behind, being late, time mismanagement, not taking care of important tasks was ruling my life and ruining my peace. I had gotten use to the fast pace craziness and busyness of my life and it was now my norm. It wasn’t until I reached/lived/experienced the opposite end of the spectrum, where peace lives, that I knew I had gotten accustomed to living a life where I was just trying to get through the day. Multiply that by 7 and I realized week in and week out, though I was doing what I thought was the best I could (but not really if we being real about it), I was not living at all. And finally, yesterday…my body had a very real reaction. In the words of Lil Donald, “DO BETTER”. But those are only words. What I really need are actual real life behavior and task management changes. I asked myself, “What can I change?” In this moment, what comes to mind is SLOW DOWN. Watch the sunset. Take a walk. A spiritual law I believe in is that when your physical environment is going to fast we must fight the urge to try to keep up and do the opposite. Take an intentional pause. Realize it is a big beautiful world and I will miss it if I don’t take a moment to appreciate it- life is in the details (so is YAH). Next, and this is the biggie. I need to prepare my tomorrow today, and set my tomorrow up for success. My habits and decisions today LITERALLY dictate my tomorrow. I claim to look out for myself, but I’m not. In reality, I am failing my future self and “doing me” a disservice by not taking care of business, tasks, etc. to place myself in a winning position. I don’t ever want the future me to feel like I did yesterday. I want the future me to thank the today me- not have a *&@# day long panic attack.